I have heard way too many stories lately of women I know, women in my family, getting physically abused by their husbands and shunned by their fathers. It’s terrifying. I feel like you can’t trust men that you just meet in places… but apparently you can’t really trust men you know, either.
My aunt was telling me that she hopes she can raise her daughters to be strong enough to walk away from something like that, God forbid it should ever happen to them, or better, strong enough to never get themselves in such a situation in the first place. She kind of suggested that i might be tha tkind of person, and i realized then that, while i have always thought myself to be, i certainly don’t feel that way right now. Not with how vulnerable i’ve made myself lately, with the amount of weakness and lack of self control i’ve displayed this summer, and especially the last few weeks.
I’m really starting to understand the differenct between physical chemistry and emotional connection… or rather, i’m realizing that i have a very, very, very hard time distinguishing the former from the latter.
And so, armed with this new information about myself, I am about to embark on a whole new leg of this journey, in which, hopefully, regrets in will be diminished by really, actually moving on.
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